Officially Patrysha

My compelling reason for turning up the heat this summer

July 19, 2008 11:57 pm Patrysha Uncategorized

I hope you can read this. I’ve heard from some readers that the template doesn’t show up properly in some browsers. I’m aware of the problem, but haven’t figured out yet how to fix it and haven’t had the time to put any research into the issue. Which brings me straight to the reason I referred to in the title tonight.

I wasn’t exactly planning to slow down this summer. I knew that this season would be one of building, so I didn’t plan for a big boost in income generating activity. I intended to do much more planning and much less impulsive action. Then something happened to change all that.

My mother in law had a small stroke. Well she calls it a mini-stroke and I’m not a doctor so I’m not weighing in on the matter one way or the other…things simply are what they are. She’s too weak to live on her own independently at this point in time. Whether she is ever able to is up for debate at the moment. It’s really too early to tell one way or the other.

It’s already become grating on all of us in the family. While I love her, I am simply unused to having guests that I have to cater to. My boys are pretty independent most of the time and hubby understands my need to work - so I generally have no problem fitting in a full days work schedule even during the summer time.

Until this summer.

Yes, my compelling reason for needing to increase my income is lying on my couch. Unable to consistently walk 13 steps to the washroom since she’s been home with us. And she wants to go home tomorrow.

Barring a miracle - it’s not going to happen.

The children bother her. The noise they make, their petty squabbles…even when they’re getting along like near angels they are annoying.

She says she’s nearly going crazy with the racket they make.

I’m trying not to let it burn me up inside. The fact that she doesn’t appreciate the sacrifice we are all making as a family…emotionally and financially!

I’m sitting listening to stories that I’ve heard at least twenty times before - wasting time that could be spent building my business, but it would be rude not to listen and I’m trying to be compassionate.

I mean, while I don’t like her attitude I’m trying real hard to be mindful that she doesn’t want to be in this position - being cared for like this is not her idea (or anyone’s idea I’m sure!) of fun. She’s not doing this to be snarky or mean (I don’t think) but because she’s scared and in pain and incredibly vulnerable.

I try to keep that in mind as I cook extra meals - well when I cook. I have to be honest and admit that hubby has been doing 90% of the cooking and cleaning lately.

I prefer to focus on how proud of the boys for their behaviour. Much as she may not appreciate their efforts. I know they are behaving better than they usually do. Considering that they can’t play their video games, watch their own television shows or have friends over as much as they are used to - that’s a feat in itself.

Here’s the thing -when I suggested she stay here instead of immediately looking into extended care facilities, I put a three month deadline on the offer. Either she’s well by then or I have enough income to afford a decent extended care facility for her.

The thing is…I don’t think I can make it three months.

I need to earn enough extra income to afford a good facility for her that she’s not going to fight going into tooth and nail. She may be weak, but she’s still got an iron will and a steely disposition.

I’m not exactly scared of her, but I certainly want to avoid her bad side if I can help it.

I mean I know when she leaves here she’s going to be telling anyone that can listen how I’m a horrible housekeeper and a worse decorator and how I make hubby do all the cooking and cleaning. I know she’s going to complain about the way the kids behave and grumble about the way I raise them.

I fully expect that and I’ve seen it before.

But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let her live in a facility that she doesn’t like or where she feels she’s not receiving the right level of attention. Besides I want to know anyone who is caring for her is being paid well - because she is a handful and they will earn every penny of it with her.

For all her idiosyncrasies and the numerous way she just plain ticks me off - I do love her. Not just because she is the mother of the love of my life and deserves to be honored for that alone. Though that is part of it. Not just because I love her son and it’s important to me to lighten his load in this emotional drama. Of course, that is part of it too.

Mostly though I want to do this because I wasn’t able or capable of helping my mom during her times of need. Mom, for those of you who don’t know, passed away last year. She was a vibrant and loving woman who taught me what being gracious really meant through her life (and sadly through her death too).

Okay, so that’s my compelling reason why!

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